The fact that Harry Potter was going out with Ginny Weasley seemed to interest a great number of people, most of them girls, yet Harry found himself newly and happily impervious to gossip over the next few weeks. After all, it made a very nice change to be talked about because of something that was making him happier than he could remember being for a very long time, rather than because he had been involved in horrific scenes of Dark Magic. - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.
I cannot make speeches
Do you ever stop and think about what an amazing character Brienne of Tarth is?
Like she is so cool.
Here we have one of the nicest, honorable of all the characters and she’s a girl who is by all accounts very unattractive. There’s even the subversion of when she gets all dressed she’s not hiding beauty underneath. She’s rocks inner beauty all the time as one of the closest things to a knight in shining armor trope in ASoIaF but she’s not at all physically attractive. She’s a female character who’s hugely important and wonderful and strong and good except she’s ugly- that like never happens in the series. Her value as a person has nothing to do with looks. She is an acknowledgment that not every fantasy series female character is beautiful. Not every woman has to be.
But there’s Brienne, kicking ass, taking names, and oh yeah, being a decent person.
Here we have a protagonist in a fantasy series who kicks ass and is one of the toughest, best fighters in the series. But it’s not because she “doesn’t want to be like the other girls”, it’s because of how her life turns out. She respects women of course, she even envies them.
Here we have a character who loved someone because they treated her with kindness when no one else did. Here we have a character who refused to give up a vow despite knowing she was betting off forsaking it. Here we have a character who defended the long since undefended Jaime Lannister because she believed that he had changed. Here we have a character who wanted to protect a bunch of orphans and others just because she could, she should, protect people who had scoffed at her, mocked her.
Brienne looked Jaime Lannister in the eye when he didn’t care about his life and asked him simply whether he was a coward.
She straddles the line between good person in Westeros and dead person in Westeros really well. She believes in goodness and yet doesn’t live in ignorance of how crappy her world is.
Brienne is super awesome if you think about it.